Another Year Lost But Never Forgotten

Well its good-bye 2011 and hello 2012! In 2011 we all had our ups and downs. Lets see... I became a parent, lost 50lbs, had a crazy babysitter, moved into a condo, gained 5 lbs, lost a brother in law, had a birthday, and ended the year with a new job location. Am I glad to say good-bye to 2011? YES! Unfortunatly, the bad out weighed the good on this one. One memory I will always have about 2011 is my brother in-law John. I met John for the first time in 2010 around October. I was very pregnant and traveling was HORRIBLE! The seat didnt recline so I was hunch back on the end seat of a tiny airplane. My brother in-law and sister in-law picked us up from the aiport in Minneapolis. It was a three hour drive from the airport to their house in Detroit Lakes, MN. After spending a few days at their house we decided to spend some time at Nick's dad's house in Brookins, SD. I don't remember much about the drive there or the time before I met John but I do remember him wearing a T-shirt with the sleeves ripped off. I remember him asking me if he could feel the baby kick and after saying yes, him sitting next to me with his hand on my belly. I remember his excited face after feeling the baby kick. I also remember it taking awhile for the baby to move for him, probably because he had the same calming touch as her father. Everytime Nick touched my stomach she stopped kicking. There were only a few times after that day that we visited with Nick's family. Everything else I know about John, unfortunatly, were by brief visits, stories, or pictures from Nick. On September 3, 2011 John was killed in a hit and run accident, he was only seventeen years old. With all of the stories, pictures, and just being with him those few moments, I am so proud to say he was my brother.

The Things I Did Know...

It was suggested to me to write about what I have learned with in the eight months I have been a "new mom". To tell you guys the truth, I have been wanting to be a mom ever since I can remember and to sit here and tell you that I have learned patience and all those things new moms B.S. to people, is not true for me. Im a patient person, I don't blow my money, and Im definitley not an idiot so that fills in the rest of common sense (dont speed with my kid in the car, dont smoke near her, tend to her when she crys) When I was young my folks had a female friend who had three kids and I used to take care of them all the time. So, I knew what to do when a newborn cried at 2am, or I know not to spend 300 bucks on my wardrobe instead of buying my kid diapers. All I can say I have learned with Ray-Lynn, is that I could not live with out her...and Ive only known her for 8 months. Imagine that.

Yogurt Dots + Babysitter= CPS?

Well its been awhile since Ive written a blog, so here is an update for "my fans". Lost 15lbs ,became a vegan, Ray-lynn got her first two teeth, and CPS was called on me for not feeding my 6month old meat (catches breath). So, as you can read, there have been a few interesting things that have happened in my life that I can call "treasured memories". I guess we can start with the elephant in the room, CPS. When I went to drop off some formula off at our baby sitter's house, she had mentioned that she had given Ray-Lynn those toddler yogurt dots. First of all, Ray-lynn is only 6 months, which means shes too young for anything for toddlers. Second, she is lactose intolerant. So needless to say I was angry but instead of expressing my anger I just asked her nicely to NOT feed Ray-lynn those yogurt dots. I walked out the house and assumed she understood where I was coming from...man was I wrong! About three hours later I received eight text messages from her saying that its not right to deprive my kid of foods, and threatened me that what I was doing was a form of "neglect" and she could report me. After that I stressed to her that Ra-lynn is far from neglect and that she can rest assure that she is getting all her nutrition. thoughts expressed, anger released, and conversation ended. Not so much. The following day I got eight more text message saying that a "neighbor" over heard our conversation and reported Nick and I to CPS for "neglect". The anger I thought was dropped the day before, just resurfaced but this time I didn't reply to her text messages. Nick and I had our doctor write a note to reassure CPS that Ra-Lynn's health was not compromised. After all was reported and done, CPS wrote our babysitters statement off as a joke and did nothing more. Whats the lesson here kids? When looking for a babysitter to watch your little darlings, always remember to screen them for "crazy".

Little Miss Attitude!

My daughter. My First born. My exact copy of me. If I were to run to Walgreens and ask for a copy of myself...I would get Ray-Lynn wrapped in a whole lotta attitude! (please note her new born picture) Ray-Lynn is only four months today but has so much personalty. There are only three people who get her smiles. Mommy, Daddy, and Tina (our babysitter). Anyone else puts off the "stranger danger" alert!

                                                           "WHO DAT!"

It was just four months ago when all she did was sleep:)

                                                             AND SLEEP....

                                                              AND SLEEP:)
And no matter how much I told her I loved her and kissed her baby cheeks, she always did exactly as I would...

wonder why I woke her up!

"yea, im watching u!"

but just like her mommy she gets over her anger and musters up a smile. My twin and I are planning a trip to my home town Houston May 6th. So, we are pretty excited about that...well I am. She, on the other hand, has no idea that she is goin to be strapped to mommy for four hours, while dealing with loud noises, jet lag, and creepy strangers googling her while say "omg, she is sooo cute". We are to arrive around mid-morning and head over to my Aunt Judy's house to say hello to new faces. My sister is expected to meet us over there and have dinner. We visit some friends, family, and then go back home to sunny California. So wish us luck because this is Ray-Lynns first flight and Im hoping I don't get any attitude!                                                          



The Good, The Bad, and The Lonely

Thinking back from my childhood I remember weekends at my grandpas, nights at my grandmas, and summers in Texas with my aunts. My childhood was complicated, so any time my siblings and I got a chance to go to their houses it was like a dog being saved from the dog bound. We're FREE! I can't help thinking how much joy and connection we all had with eachother as a family but as does everything else, time took a toll on our happiness. Eventually, my grandparents got sick, people got caught up in their "busy lives", and connection was lost. The love that was once so strong has decayed into almost non existence. We used to have christmas and thanksgiving at one house, now we are lucky to see eachother at all. Work, school, and hobbies can't be the blame for this but our own selfish acts. When my grandfather was alive, he was the cement that build our foundation and theres no doubt about that. I feel like a stranger in my own family tree.

Skinny is a Myth

I have done alot of research on baby blogs, new mothers, and I havent come across anyone who has expressed their fustration on losing the baby weight. So I guess everyone who has ever been preggers was a freak of nature and was a perfect size 2. So heres my confessions. I gained 60lbs during my pregnancy and have stretch marks the size of railroad tracks. There Ive said it but the problem is having every other mother come forward and say it too. I always come across the "perfect mom" who gave birth, then ran 6 laps around the hospital while coming home in her size 0 jeans. I, on the other hand, looked like somone after a buffet eating contest and I wasnt going home any lighter. So my new years resolution was to lose that baby weight and get into those infamous "skinny jeans". My skinny jeans are the jeans that caught my husbands eyes, now they r catching dust on the closet shelf. So what have I been doing to turn this -7 into a 10? Well, im running, condition training, and calorie counting. Is it working? no, ive lost a total of 5lbs in three months. What I think is even more annoying than working my butt of and seeing no results, is hearing other people give me very obvious advise. "maybe you should watch what you eat" "have you tried diet pills" and my favorite. "your not fat, you just had a baby". ok, but its been three and half months and I can officially no longer say "I just had a baby" but then again six months is the mark of weight loss. I was reading an article from a doctor who said that if you don't lose the weight with in six months after the baby is born, your fat is doomed to linger on ur body FOREVER! Well, he didnt exactly say that but he said that it will be harder to lose if you let it sit there. How can a woman workout when she has a little person wanting her 24/7? Who would a thought such a little person could completely change your body, mind, and soul?